Tag Archive | hurt

I Want

     Have you ever spent a lot of time pondering the question what now? I seem to swim in that question lately. I have so many directions I could take right now and I feel like I’m starting to spin in circles trying to figure out which way to go. The worst part is there are a couple of roads that I know I don’t want to take and yet some days even they look tempting. They are of course the roads that lead to the greener pastures we all talk about. While the others are rockier and don’t appear to be that scenic, but I hear at the end of one of those roads is the Garden of Eden. These of course are not the roads for the faint of heart. When one embarks on a journey down one of the rocky roads they have to be prepared for the bumps that go along with it. Before I can possibly make a choice as to which direction to go, I think I need to get really clear on the things that I want in my life. So my question at the moment is simply ….what do I really want?

     *I Want…..to do something every day that not only changes my world for the better, but someone else’s.

     *I Want……to write, which I get to do here and I am so grateful for things like blogging, but I think I want to write a book.

     *I Want…..to let go of guilt. I’m running around in the middle of a self- inflicted guilt trip now and this will be the last one!

     *I Want…..to be able to share my gifts with the world in some way that makes it a better place.

     *I Want…..to surround myself with others who have integrity in every aspect of their lives. Not just the easy ones.

     *I Want…..to always know my own heart. I know my heart never betrays me, but sometimes I betray it.

     *I Want…..to find as much joy as I can from life, even when dealing with the things that cause anger, hurt and sadness.

     *I Want…..to continue to find love in as many things throughout the day as possible….even the anger, hurt and sadness.

     *I Want…..to always have time in the day to just breathe and speak my gratitude for all of the gifts in my life, and those that are yet to be delivered.

     *I Want…..all of this or something better!

     I’m sure there will be more things that come to mind now that I’m thinking about things on a deeper level. Although I think the core, the most important parts of what I want are all on the list above. I’m learning lots of lessons lately about what’s important and what’s not so I know that list is hundreds of miles off course from where it would have been just 6 months ago. I love how quickly things can change when you’re paying attention to the details. All in all I wouldn’t change a moment of my recent experiences. The road has been pretty rocky some days, but the treasures hidden along the way…well I wouldn’t trade those for all of the greener pastures I know are out there.