A few weeks ago I heard a small voice from within saying run. Not like away from anything or to anywhere in particular. Just run for the sake of running. I have to admit that I don’t always listen to that voice, especially when I don’t like what it’s telling me…the lazy girl that resides in me isn’t a big fan of the run word. For whatever reason the voice was different this time, it was persistent, loud and ever present. So after all of the question and answer periods I started to think…maybe I could run. It actually started to sound freeing in a ways that I had never contemplated before.
So one night after putting up my last fight for freedom against running, I reluctantly grabbed my running shoes. Time to put them to good use I guess, although I was wondering while putting them on “who owns running shoes and doesn’t run anyway?” A few minutes later I was standing on the side of the road pondering whether or not I was really going to do this. Then here comes the voice again, much louder than ever…”RUN!” So I ran. Just a little at first, when you haven’t done something since you were a kid on the playground, it can feel a little awkward at first. I didn’t really find my stride that night, as with everything in my life right now both the new and the old it felt a little foreign to my body. I came home hoping the voice would be soothed and maybe just maybe that was all I needed. Run once and the voice will go away…that’s what I was hoping anyway.
NO SUCH LUCK!!
The voice has stayed and it has hovered in my head. So I go running. I finally found my stride and the awkwardness I was feeling in my body is finally subsiding. Oddly enough I am finding that running is becoming a gateway to some kind of deep desire I have to feel free, and when I run I feel free. I think that’s why children spend so much time running, they don’t yet know all of the things in life that are going to come along and weigh you down. Children only know what it means to be free. So I am soothing that inner child in a whole new way and as a result I feel like I am starting to show up in the world in a whole new way as well. I admit that there are days that the foreign feeling of my life lately leaves me feeling a little lost, but most every day I am starting to get comfortable with the newness of it all. I am finding my voice and speaking my truth these days in ways that are all new to me, and it’s refreshing in a frightening kind of way. So tonight while I am feeling a little down, the old me would go buy a bottle of wine, or find a friend to go have a drink with, the new me is just going to go for a run.
This is my feeling free, wind in my face, my life 4 me, no looking back, whole new world, life changing, loving me therapy. No gadgets or gizmos required, just show up and challenge myself to be better than I was yesterday and just run!!