The Phoenix

     “Sometimes your world has to completely change to become reborn. Sometimes you have to completely die to your life before because like a cocoon it was a place to prepare you. If you stay in the cocoon you will never truly live. To die to your present life is to change into the self you were born to be. Trusting G*d is the hardest thing to do sometimes, but it is the only way to break away and become the Phoenix…” ~ Charlie Moore

It seems like just yesterday my children were splashing in the mud puddles in front of our house on a rainy day. Just a blink of an eye back from there I was a child myself and out for a walk in the rain. It seems like yesterday, yet I live a million miles away from either of those places. Sometimes as slow as time seems to move, it really goes so fast. Time is in a constant state of motion in our lives and so is change.  Change creeps slowly into our lives at times and becomes a choice we make. Other times change crashes in through a window completely out of nowhere and shakes us at our core. This is when change becomes a painful process, slow progress is easy…this on the fly stuff is the hardcore work!

Have you ever had the thought “what else is there to lose?” Then been surprised by the answer when the answer is yes, and it’s the very things you thought were the most secure. It’s the things like the very core of who you are, or at least who you thought you were not fitting anymore. I guess you could describe it like a day when you try on all of the clothes in your closet and nothing fits. You know it’s time to go shopping, but you don’t know where to start because you’re right in-between sizes. This is where the journey starts, the setting fire to our past so we can leave behind the ashes of the person that we are not anymore.

I Greek mythology the Phoenix is a bird that is cyclically regenerated or reborn. I think that at the core of a human life is a Phoenix. Always watching and waiting for us to get a lesson so we can move forward to the next and the next and the next. Life seems to be a never ending cycle of birth, death, and rebirth. My friend Charlie sent me the quote above the other day. I don’t know that he did, but I like to think he wrote it just for me. When I thanked him for the words he told me that I am the greatest Phoenix that he has ever known. I have never thought of myself as having this power, but standing here staring at my past while I’m in the fire I can’t help but remember this has happened before. Sometimes when we look at things that seem brand new they are really all too familiar.  This will not be the first time that I have rebuilt myself from the ground up, and I am sure that it will not be the last.

I know that many of the people that I love the most are in this same place right now. Coming out of a life that doesn’t fit and not knowing what the future holds. Knowing that you can never be again the person that you are in this moment and fearful of the not knowing the person that you are supposed to be. This is the time we have to turn on our faith that we are exactly where we are supposed to be, because if we weren’t we would be somewhere completely different. Just a little tip for the journey, stay in the fire until it consumes you. Let it take every last piece of the illusion that is you, so you can be reborn into the life that you are meant to live. So you can be the Phoenix…..

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